The BAR!

Recipe Three: Banana Split Pea Soup


This one really snuck up on us all in the middle of the night. It's one of those recipes you see in a dream, where you kinda think you're eating something but it tastes like something completely different, because your mind is pretty wack when you're dreaming. Well, this is like a really fantastic tasting dream that looks and tastes nothing like you'd want, ever.
Ingredients? Easy. You probably already have all of these things in your garage somewhere with your camping supplies, or in your B.O.B. with the rest of your survival food.
What you're going to need is one large ripe banana, one can of fat free organic split pea soup, a can of sweetened whipped cream, olives, and sprinkles. Let us take a look at the finished product.

Banana Split Pea

Here's how you put the masterpiece into the theater of the stomach. Peel the banana. This is very important. Cut one end off of the banana about two inches from the end and set aside. Slice the rest of the banana and lay it into the plate as shown, with two ends sticking up stylishly on one side. Using the sharpest knife or styrofoam cutter you can find, take the end you set aside and cut intersecting Vs into the top, about the size and structure you'll need to hold a large smoked olive. Place it in the bowl next to the banana. This is very important. It needs to be IN the bowl. Take your can of split pea soup and open it, being careful not to lacerate any of your fingers on the jagged metal edges of the can. Pour the contents of the can gingerly into the bowl in the most amusing fashion possible. This is also very important. It is important to amuse and be amused by this process. The rest basically assembles itself. Shoot some whipped cream on there and swirl some chocolate sauce across the top. Place an olice on the banana precipice you created earlier; the fruity all-seeing eye of your dinner plate. Sprinkle some sprinkles obnoxiously across the top and garnish with some sprigs of fresh parsley to make everything fancy.
And there you have it. Serves one. Blends easily in the garbage disposal.

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